How to spot a con

Lavish flattery

If you've just met someone who is overwhelming you with praise, attention and concern, be careful. Be particularly careful if you're lonely and looking for love—con artists know exactly how to play that tune.

Credentials—exaggerated and fabricated

Con artists may "prove" themselves by namedropping or volunteering detailed resumes or credentials. If you're at all suspicious, check their references.

Building your trust

Con artists will sometimes honor their commitments in the beginning so that you begin to trust them. They'll pay back initial loans, or appear to be unselfishly helping other people. Their objective is to get you to drop your guard.

The story doesn't quite add up

The con artist's story may have small inconsistencies or unexplained loose ends. If you ask questions, the con will glibly provide an explanation—which may also not add up. Or, he or she will sidestep the issue by accusing you of paranoia or mistrust.

"I need an answer now."

A crisis needs to be averted, an opportunity will disappear—whatever the reason, a con artist will want an answer right away. If you have time to think, research or ask advice, you may realize that con artist's plan is a ploy. The con will want your money before you figure it out.

Intense eye contact

Typically, when people talk to each other, they look each other in the eyes and then briefly look away. Sociopathic con artists often exhibit a "predatory stare"—unblinking, fixated and emotionless. It's not a sign of empathy—it's an effort to assert control.

Isolation

Con artists will slowly and subtly separate you from people who may question their plans. They may intercept phone calls from your friends. They may refuse to associate with your family. They'll tell you, "It's you and me against the world, baby." Soon, you're alone with them, snared in their net.

For a jaw-dropping look at how sociopaths employ all these techniques, read Love Fraud-How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan.

http://www.lovefraud.com/02_howToSpotAcon/spot_con_artist.html

Without Conscience - Dr Robert Hare

This book was recommended to me and was incredibly helpful in understanding the psychopath.

KEY SYMPTOMS OF PSYCHOPATHY (Page 34):

Emotional/Interpersonal

*glib and superficial

*egocentric and grandiose

*lack of remorse or guilt

*lack of empathy

*deceitful and manipulative

*shallow emotions

Social Deviance

*impulsive

*poor behaviour controls

*need for excitement

*lack of responsibility

*early behaviour problems

*adult antisocial behaviour

Some excerpts from "Without Conscience":

He will choose you, disarm you with his words, and control you with his presence. He will delight you with his wit and his plans. He will show you a good time, but you will always get the bill. He will smile and deceive you, and he will scare you with his eyes. Ans when he is through with you, and he will be through with you, he will desert you and take with him your innocence and your pride. You will be left much sadder but not a lot wiser, and for a long time you will wonder what happened and what you did wrong. And if another of his kind comes knocking at your door, will you open it? (Page 21)

He knows the words but not the music. (Page 128)

In an interview, one of our psychopaths, a con artist, said candidly, "When I'm on a job the first thing I do is I size you up. I look for an angle, an edge, figure out what you need and give it to you. Then it's pay-back time, with interest. I tighten the screws." (Page 147)

Psychopaths have an uncanny ability to spot and use "nurturant" women- that is, those who have a powerful need to help or mother others....These women will usually take a lot of abuse in their believe that they can help; they are ripe for being left emotionally, physically, and financially drained. (Page 149)